I’ll Run Again In Heaven – 2/24/19

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This post is the story of a ham and egger. A guy I used to know used that term quite often. His definition of a ham and egger was someone who’s out in the real world grunting out a living. I wish I could say I’m rich and famous but I’m not. I’m just like the roughly 95% of the population out there grunting out a living with one exception. In 1991 at the age of 33 I was diagnosed with Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis (RRMS). The first twenty years with MS were tolerable however, the last eight years have been challenging, not only physically but mentally, too! I’m not very religious but if I do go somewhere after I die I hope I’ll be able to run again.

The next few sentences might be repetitive for some who have read my blog so please bear with me. Every year after my diagnosis in ’91 my MS got progressively worse. In 2004 my neurologist said I should now consider myself to have Secondary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis (SPMS). Then in 2011 my MS became life changing. In the fall of 2011 more MS lesions were found on my spinal cord.

Those MS lesions on my spinal cord are disrupting the body functions below my waist including walking, standing, bowels, bladder and balance. Luckily, I can still drive my van with the help of hand controls and a ramp inside my mini-van. I also had to teach myself how to do everyday things again like cooking, cleaning, etc. while sitting on my three wheeled scooter.

At times I get down but I try not to stay that way very long. I have alot of things I want to do with the last 20-30 years of my life. If you can get over the fact that you’re going to be doing those things sitting down helps you accept your disease. In May of 2015 I described to my neurologist how I was feeling and what I did and didn’t do on a daily basis. Without batting an eye she said I was depressed!

I don’t know much about depression. I was down at times but I never considered depression to be the problem. So I started taking a pill called Bupropion* once per day. I have to admit it has mellowed me out some and I’m not yelling so much now.

Multiple Sclerosis affects more than 2.3 million people worldwide. MS is a debilitating disease of the central nervous system. It can affect any part of a person’s body. Everybody has nerves running throughout their bodies that control everything they do. I have problems from head to toe.

It’s hard to believe that it’s been almost 28 years since my diagnosis. I love to talk and when you’re reading this if it seemed I was jumping from one topic to another I probably was. My doctors call it disinhibition* but I call it “rambling”. Disinhibition is a lack of restraint in regards to social settings, conventions, impulsivity and poor risk assessment. Disinhibition affects motor, instinctual, emotional, cognitive and perceptual aspects. I explain it like this. I say what’s on my mind and usually with colorful words.